My boyfriend works out of town which has caused more strain on our relationship than I first would have thought. Tonight he is in Cary where he has been since Tuesday. Cary is about 2 hours from where we live. He is flying to Chicago at 7am tomorrow morning, or should I say this morning because it is 1:50am. Anyway, he has been working in Chicago for the past 6 months in 10 day on 4 day off cycles. This is going to be his last trip to Chicago supposedly as they will be finishing up all the loose ends. The drawback to this trip is that they have no idea how long they will be there this time. They could be there for a week or they could be there for a month; it just depends on how long it takes them to finish.
So he calls me tonight from Raleigh which is about 30 mins outside of Cary and is the second largest city in our state. He is at Rum Runners and they had just got there. The dueling piano players were making fun of him being on the phone so he had to go. This was at 8pm. I didn't here back from him until 12:15am. Now, in the meantime I sent him 3 texts and called twice to which I received no response. This would not be a big deal to with any normal couple but my bf has a tendancy to flirt. He has, in the past, let that flirting come between he and I. I won't go into details but I have gotten VERY hurt.
He completely loves me, and I know this but he has been feeling a bit down lately and has made several comments to the fact that he doesn't get hit on in the bars anymore. It bothered me at first but I understand his need to feel wanted and I feel the same way.
So when I finally do hear from him he is EXTREMELY intoxicated. The kind of drunk that you can smell it through the phone. He is about to get behind the wheel of he WORK VEHICLE and drive to his hotel IN THE NEXT TOWN. I beg with him not to do so, but he does and insists that he is in no way drunk just merely tipsy, (what the heck ever! I was born at night but not last night!) So he then calls me when he gets to his hotel room and he is so drunk that he can't remember what he says from one sentence to the next and loses his train of thought with almost every word. He is slurring his words and stumbling all around the room as I can hear him doing so on the phone. He then informs me of how cool it was that girls were all over him all night.
What? Repeat that? I'm sorry I must not have my hearing aid on, can you come again?
I ask him how many drinks he bought for girls and he was "pshhh none, those girls ain't gettin nothing from me".
So he goes into the big long thing about how cool these dueling pianos were and how much fun he had and I can tell he is just giddy with excitement. I am starting to let my emotions bubble over and I am feeling very left out and hurt that he had this amazing time without me and with other girls fawning on him. So then he starts back in about how much he is absolutely and totally in love with me but he just couldn't express to me how awesome it was to have girls flirting with him right and left and if he wanted to he could have gotten at least 2 girls numbers.
Um, ok what? Ya know I really think I'm not hearing you correctly could you repeat that?
Now I know I should be happy that he is getting his ego boosted. I know I should be completely confident in our relationship afterall I'm sitting in our house right now and am about to go to bed in our bed. But something in me just snapped. And then, the kicker... He says to me, "It just felt so good to say to the bartender I'll have a jagerbomb and another beer and get those two girls over there whatever they want."
Houston, I think we have a problem!
Are you kidding me right now? Did I hear those words come out of his mouth? Yea, and he was totally busted. So I called him on it and he of course tried to back peddle his way out but unfortunately his whittle pedals wouldn't go cause they were all mucked up in JAGER BOMBS AND NASTY BAR WHORES!
So, then I ask him how much money he spent at the bar. He is all like, "oh I don't know not much I just bought those two girls drinks." Well guess who has complete access to his online banking and every other aspect of his life? Um that would be me. So I go into his account and guess what I find? TWO, count em, TWO pending debits from Rum Runners. One in the amount of...are you ready for this...$109.45! Oh and it gets better. The other one was for $112.98! OH YEA! What the? He didn't just buy 2 girls a couple of drinks, he either had 2 girls on his tab all night or he bought SEVERAL girls a couple of drinks! Back in my drinking days when he and I would go out the largest tab the two of us together EVER had was $95. And that is both of us and don't drink cheap stuff or beer. I drink or should I say drank Segrams 7&7's with red headed slut shots. That right there is 9-12 bucks no matter where you get it. So homeboy was BUYING SOME FRICKEN SHOTS! When I tell him of this he is like, 'no can't be...they musta double charged me or something...had to...nooo'. When he gets up tomorrow and checks his balance and sees that he only has X amount of money to get him through to his next payday he is going to crap himself! Mark my words!
So now its 2:19am, I'm extremely ticked off and I have to be at work in the morning. I also have to go out with my co-workers to a God-forsaken club tomorrow night in downtown fricken Greensboro which is an hour from my house mind you, and make him suffer.
Payback is a B!@#H, and so am I!
5 comments:
He's an arsehole. You deserve better. Get out while you still can.
While I agree that he was way out of line, be careful when you start dishing out payback. Cause then the cycle could EASILY get worse w/ the two of you trying to outdo each other.
One thing leads to another, and before you know it, he's calling you from a Mexican prison cell trying to keep from getting ass raped by Pablo while you are waking up in Vegas wondering if that wedding ring on your finger is from the Elvis impersonator, the Wayne Newton wannabe, or the donkey that are all sharing the bed w/ you in the morning.
Later,
David
Just from this entry, I would have to say I would be skeptical about this relationship working out. Let me share something with you I learned a long time ago. You cannot, ever, change a man. A leopard can't change his spots. If he's been a flirt in the past, he will continue to be that way in the future. If you feel insecure, you probably have good reason for it. I'm not questioning whether or not he loves you. He can love you intensely, but if he needs his ego stroked that badly, he won't stop at mere flirtations.
I married a man that traveled a great deal and it put a huge strain on the relationship... especially when you feel he can't be trusted. Life is too short to be up late at night worrying and checking on your boyfriend. You need someone that you can trust completely.
I would agree that you also need to be careful about dishing out some kind of payback. If your relationship revolves around getting each other back for hurting each other, then how can you call that a relationship?
Perhaps you wrote it out of anger, but your feelings are real and I would take some time to think about where your relationship is going. And yes, I'm butting my nose in where it certainly doesn't belong, but I don't want anyone else to make the same mistakes I have.
I noticed in your post that you mention his money spending isn't your problem because it's his money... but if you live together or plan to build a life together, the money issues he has now isn't going to change later. So it really is of your concern. This is only my opinion, certainly, but it comes from experience. Now I'm off to read more of your entries.
When the bf *stops* telling you about the chicks at the bar, that is when you worry! If he talks about it, that means, he probably didn't get anyone's phone number and never intended to do so.
The worst part of the whole ordeal, is he drove drunk! He could have killed himself or someone else.
M,
I totally agree! Ther driving drunk part is what I was more mad about the next day. He knows that was stupid and if the situation was reversed he would have really been super mad at me.
Thanks for reading!
Jade
Post a Comment