I have a friend, my best friend actually, we have been friends since I was five years old. There were a couple years where I went to a different school and we hung with different clouds but for the most part we have still remained friends. Our senior year in high school we became super close and have been ever since. I graduated in 1994 just for a timeline perspective.
K and I were pretty much inseperable. She was a gorgeous little pixie and the boys just fawned over her. Guys would ask for my number and then ask me to fix them up with my friend. I lived in her shadow. She was the coolest girl I knew. We were a quirky couple of kids. We like punk rock and ska. We dyed our hair in strange shades and danced our butts off into the wee hours, thus making lots of friends with boys in bands. K had a tendency to fall head over heels for guys quickly and then lose all sense of her friends. I knew this and just let it slide since we were so close I knew when she needed me that she would be back. She always came back.
She got married a couple years after high school and had 2 kids and bought a house. The American dream so to speak. All except the guy she married was a loser and I told her so when she was dating him so we didn't speak for 2 years and I wasn't invited to the wedding. But I was there at the birth of both of her kids and at the divorce of loser boy.
I've always felt like I was playing catch up to her. Since her divorce from her husband she's been engaged two times with the most recent of those occuring last week. She called to inform me of the good news and the description of the ring, 2 carat center stone in an antique setting. They had it appraised and insured. It appraised at $9000 and was dated in the 1940's with a diamond rating of SI1. Yea, wow. She is really into antiques and super into pinup girls and 1940's stuff. This was perfect for her.
I'm really happy for her but I can't help feel like why her and not me? I mean why am I so un-marriable? The weird thing is, I'm not even sure that I want to get married but I would at least like to know that someone wants to marry me.
She also just graduated from esthetics school. I helped her fill out the paperwork for financial aid and suggested that she go to esthetics school. I flunked out of college and now have no prospects for goals. Again with the catch up.
I love her to death but I just can't help feeling jealous. Is that wrong?
4 comments:
Absolutely not, it is not wrong to be jealous of your friend, it would be wrong if you were jealous and could not admit it. I have been jealous of my friend too, I would really be jealous if a friend called me to tell me about her 9000.00 ring. I smile as I say that. Really, I think it is healthy to be jealous sometimes.
Your feelings of jealousy are only bad if you hate her or wish her ill for it. It's normal to pine for a man in your life, the feminists have told us to ignore it that we can do everything on our own but that's being exposed as a crock!
From the beginning of time women have needed men, and vice versa. If not, none of us would be here!
Take heart!
No matter how much they promise they'll marry you after, NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, live with a man until AFTER he marries you. Not even for a couple of weeks. They lose all desire to marry you afterwards. What makes you marriable is self respect. Value yourself. You're beautiful. A lot of the book The Rules is gay, but a lot of us guys will admit it works.
anonymous,
I don't know that I want to get married. I don't know if I have that level of commitment in me. And 'k' has lived with every single guy that has proposed to her, up to and including the one she was married to for 10 years.
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