The Back Story...
Some of you know that I moved from Greensboro and now live on the opposite side of Winston Salem. For those of you not from this area that is approximately a 45-55 minute drive from where I work. I decided, after much begging from my manager, to stay at my job through the summer and get a job at a sports bar that is is being built in Clemmons about 10 mins from my house. The sports bar is still in the construction stage and looks to be completed at the end of July to early August. As soon as the now hiring sign goes up, I'm there. Well in the course of working at my current place of business, I discovered that another co-worker lives in Winston Salem as well and her house is en route to my work. So we decided to cut down on gas by riding together.
Since this agreement has taken place her car broke down so now, I'm responsible for ALL the driving and she gives me gas money. No big deal right? WRONG. This girl that I work with is notorious for being late and is about the slowest person on the face of the earth. I don't know why she is as slow as she is but it is extremely aggravating when she is 15 minutes behind on her appointments and she has two people waiting for her and she decides to make a 10 minute phonecall to her loser or boyfriend! But I digress...
So I love her to death, I really do but I didn't sign up for what I've gotten myself into. She has a young son that her mother watches for her while she works. He is about 2 or 3, I'm not good with kids ages. But the problem is her mother lives in Reidsville which is an hour or so in a different direction. So in order for her mother to watch him we have to meet her at the half way point to drop him off which is in Oakridge, which is about 30 mins out of the way to our work.
So, now I have to leave my house an hour and a half before I have to be at work so that I can drive her to drop off her son plus get to work on time. plus when I get to her house she is never ready and since she has a kid we have to load up 40 thousand things in the car just to leave the house. Then we have to drive 30 minutes out of our way to drop him off and she usually starts gabbing with her mother for about 10 minutes about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
That, again puts us behind. I usually tell her I have to be at work 30 minutes prior to when I actually have to be there so that we aren't late. So now my time leaving my house turns into 2 hours prior to having to be at work. Now take this and add it all back to the return trip and I'm spending 4 extra hours of my day driving someone else and their kid around. My shifts at work are usually only 4-5 hours! And its not like I'm working in some posh place making bou coup bucks or anything. She gives me between $7-$10 everytime for gas but that doesn't account for the wear and tear put on my car that is about to hit the 160,000 mile marker or my precious time. Seriously, I had to leave my house at 7:30 this morning to get to work at 9:30am and I got off at 4pm but didn't get home until 6:45pm!
And today we had to drive all the way to Summerfeild to pick up her son which is about another 15 minutes on to the 30 extra out of the way in the first place. She didn't inform me of this until I had left work and had to turn around and go back and get her because her she got in a fight with her boyfriend, who was coming to pick her up because he doesn't want her riding with me. She says that its more like he doesn't want her to not be dependant on him.
My question is, I have been the nice person in this scenario and what has it gotten me? And how do I get out of it without seeming like a jerk?
5 comments:
I agree with you on your friendship thoughts.
Wow !! You are going beyond the call of friendship. I don't think that it is fair the you have to leave your house 2 hours before you are to be at work. I think also it is time for your friend to get her car fixed. I understand that she has a child, maybe she needs to move closer to her family so that they can help more. I personally think that she is taking advantage of your friendship. You need to just tell her "hey I like you, I want to be your friend but I just can't keep doing this." Then you have to ask yourself something, Would she do it for you? Would she drive out of her way each and everyday for you? Love your blog!!
Bmmer. Guess you could do nothing, reciting "this too shall pass", only a month or too more. This happened to me once, that I used to pick a co-worker up and she was always running late causing us to be late for work. My personality was to get to work 15 to 20 minutes early, so it upset me. I'd joke about it, but let her know I wasn't happy, and she'd vow "tomorrow". Then one Saturday she just got out of bed and I left. She was a slow mover and it was a sale day, could not afford to be late. So the manager got mad at me, and he sent someone to pick her up. She did get her car fixed after that. I guess you can tell her straight out, "can't car pool anymore" and so what if people think you're a jerk (you're not)and if it costs you the friendship, so be it.
Yeah, what Karin said. Don't worry about a jerk thinking YOU are a jerk. If you keep on you'll be a giant sucker.
I still haven't decided what to do about this although I've not had to cart her to work lately because we've worked different shifts. I've decided that the next time she asks I'm going to tell her that I have some plans before work or after and don't have the time to pick her up and take her son. I am trying to find a second job so hopefully I'll get a part-time job that will prevent me from taking her anywhere anyway. I know this is lame but I just don't want to hurt her feelings or seem petty about a couple extra hours a day.
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