Three online dilemma’s...What is the etiquette here?
I have three things presently bothering me online. I am presenting them to you guys to see if you have a solution for me.
1. There is a girl who lately has been making strides to be my friend. I know this girl through my boyfriend and I just don't know if she is genuine. He tells me that she used to call him weekly and once held a considerable crush on him. She also is on again off again bff's with his ex-fiance. It seems as though every time they are off again she pops up and wants to hang out. Do I trust this? My bf has told me that she has told him to leave me before because I was no good for him and only upset him. But of course we all know Eric isn't known for his trust worthy-ness. This particular girl has always been very nice to me in person and seems to be genuine but you never know if you should trust a woman or not. I don't want to get all buddy buddy with someone and let them into my life only to have them sell trade secrets to the enemy or use me to get to my boyfriend. (truth be told I might not mind the latter.) She has asked me to work out with her, like at the walking park and have lunch with her. Should I?
2. My second dilemma really is just more of a gripe. There is a girl who is on my page that constantly puts down or belittles anything that I like. But she continually makes attempts and hanging out with me or friendship. I don't understand why this girl would want to be my friend if she finds everything about me to suck. I don't know why I haven't deleted her. I think I just enjoy the abuse.
3. My third situation is something of a touchy nature. I have a tendency to get bored and want to mess with people and this is a bit tempting but I know it might hurt some people as well. Awhile ago this random guy sent me a message asking to be friends. I looked at his page and he seemed relatively harmless. He has a girlfriend and seems to like the same things I do. Other than being overly athletic and adventurous, I think we could be friends. I've always had guy friends so it's not really a big deal. He lives in W-S too so I thought we could be friends. We exchanged a few emails and after I gave him my standard speech about not knowing anything about W-S and looking for places to hang out, he stopped responding. I figured I probably scared the dude with my overwhelming neediness and he just decided to stay away from me. No biggy, I'm used to it.
So yesterday I got a message from him asking if I was looking for "some fun on the side". What the? So I sent him something back asking him which side because I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to be hilarious. But then I starting looking at his page and his gf's page and saw a blog she had posted. It talked about how he had just had a 'heart procedure' and that she didn't realize how much she could care about someone and how in love with him she is. She said, and I quote "Until now, I didn't know that it was possible to care this much about someone. If anything were to ever happen to him, I would be completely helpless and lost. I am completely, hopelessly devoted, and in love with this man. I can't imagine my life without him and I don't know where I would go, what I would do, or who I would turn to". So do I tell her about what he said only one day after her having posted this? I would want to know if the man I'm 'hopelessly devoted' to were looking for some 'fun on the side'. Plus homeboy has no idea that I'm not really as attractive as my myspace would suggest. But that is beside the point. I know by forwarding this message to the girl it would only cause problems for them and he would spin something to make it seem like I had doctored things, but this girl is only being set up for disaster down the road. This dude obviously has no intention of being faithful to this girl and I think she should know before she seriously gets hurt. What do ya'll think?
Friday, October 19, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
The Pursuit of a 'Good Man'
She thought she had a 'Good Man' until she moved in with him and his age and inexperience exposed him. She still tried to salvage the 'Good' but the damage was done. Irresponsibility, does not a 'Good Man' make.
And she thought she had a 'Good Man' until his lying and cheating were leaked by the accomplice. Every time she looks at him she sees 'Doubt' printed on his forehead, but continues to remember the 'Good' times. The 'Good Man' is now rebuilding his credibility...does that make him 'Damaged Man' now?
I often hear women say they just wish they could find a 'Good Man'. Maybe they need to work on their idea of 'Good'. Does this ideal of a 'Good Man' exist? If he does, is he stuck in a loveless relationship because in being 'Good' he doesn't abandon his responsibilities? Does the 'Good' in him get confused for friendship, therefore never creating a romantic spark?
I have never had a 'Good Man'. I have met a few, but they all expose their flaws eventually. Perfection isn't essential in the pursuit of 'Good', but integrity, responsibility and honesty are. Whenever I find my personal ideal of the 'Good', he doesn't want me. So in essence, he can't be a 'Good Man', can he? I mean who wouldn't want me? Not me per se, but the collective me; Women. A 'Good Man' would want me for me and love me for me. I would be enough for a 'Good Man'. He would satify me emotionally and physically. He would compliment my idiosyncrasies, and understand my eccentricities. He would be witty and smart. He would be loving and empathetic. I would be completly smitten by him and never want for another. He would be my 'Good Man' and I would cherish him with all the love in my heart.
And she thought she had a 'Good Man' until his lying and cheating were leaked by the accomplice. Every time she looks at him she sees 'Doubt' printed on his forehead, but continues to remember the 'Good' times. The 'Good Man' is now rebuilding his credibility...does that make him 'Damaged Man' now?
I often hear women say they just wish they could find a 'Good Man'. Maybe they need to work on their idea of 'Good'. Does this ideal of a 'Good Man' exist? If he does, is he stuck in a loveless relationship because in being 'Good' he doesn't abandon his responsibilities? Does the 'Good' in him get confused for friendship, therefore never creating a romantic spark?
I have never had a 'Good Man'. I have met a few, but they all expose their flaws eventually. Perfection isn't essential in the pursuit of 'Good', but integrity, responsibility and honesty are. Whenever I find my personal ideal of the 'Good', he doesn't want me. So in essence, he can't be a 'Good Man', can he? I mean who wouldn't want me? Not me per se, but the collective me; Women. A 'Good Man' would want me for me and love me for me. I would be enough for a 'Good Man'. He would satify me emotionally and physically. He would compliment my idiosyncrasies, and understand my eccentricities. He would be witty and smart. He would be loving and empathetic. I would be completly smitten by him and never want for another. He would be my 'Good Man' and I would cherish him with all the love in my heart.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The one (or ten) that got away...
I'm in a wonderful relationship. I'm very happy and could never think of ruining it or leaving. But every once in a great while I think of the relationships that never were, for one reason or another.
I often day dream about what might have happened if... But you know if, "if" had happened, I might not be the person I am today and that person is who I want to be. Occasionally I stumble upon someone or something that reminds me of one of these key people and I get overwhelmed with nostalgia. The absolute worst is when they actually contact me and completely fall into a daydream with them. We reminesce and talk about the good old days, and by the end of the conversation I've fallen for them all over again.
Either I wasn't ready or they weren't ready; or they had major baggage that needed to be unpacked and by the time they off loaded I'd moved on. There are a few people in my life that really touched me. They messed my head and heart up so much that they will permanently remain in both. But for some reason or another we just could get our lives in a parallel tract.
Do you think that happened on purpose?
Do you think we were never meant to be?
Do you think I wanted it more than you did?
Do you think about me as often I as I do you?
I often day dream about what might have happened if... But you know if, "if" had happened, I might not be the person I am today and that person is who I want to be. Occasionally I stumble upon someone or something that reminds me of one of these key people and I get overwhelmed with nostalgia. The absolute worst is when they actually contact me and completely fall into a daydream with them. We reminesce and talk about the good old days, and by the end of the conversation I've fallen for them all over again.
Either I wasn't ready or they weren't ready; or they had major baggage that needed to be unpacked and by the time they off loaded I'd moved on. There are a few people in my life that really touched me. They messed my head and heart up so much that they will permanently remain in both. But for some reason or another we just could get our lives in a parallel tract.
Do you think that happened on purpose?
Do you think we were never meant to be?
Do you think I wanted it more than you did?
Do you think about me as often I as I do you?
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Day 2: I sure wish I could take out my contacts and clean them.
So It's been two days since I got the surgery and I must say it really feels like I have a pair of dry contacts in. My vision is the same as that also. I basically have hazy tunnel vision that I can see out of and blurry peripheral. I have the halos at night but they aren't any worse than glare from my glasses. I called the doctor to find out if this was normal and was assured that it was. They told me that the haziness is from the drops and will clear up in about a week. I'm supposed to make an appointment to come in one day next week for a follow up visit. I can't get there until Tuesday.
I have been putting my drops in every four hours like I'm supposed to and they give me a really awful metallic taste in my mouth that nothing gets rid of. The plus side of that is I'm not really eating all that much because it tastes like crap.
I just don't understand why of all the people I've met that have had this procedure none of them have told me about any of this stuff. I even know people who went to the same place as me. Did this procedure just not work for me or am I being a big baby? I guess I'm just to the point of wait and see. But for all the aggrivation I find myself just wishing that I was fighting with my contacts. At least then I could take them out when they bothered me. Hopefully I will get some more insight into all of these annoyances at my doctor visit.
I have been putting my drops in every four hours like I'm supposed to and they give me a really awful metallic taste in my mouth that nothing gets rid of. The plus side of that is I'm not really eating all that much because it tastes like crap.
I just don't understand why of all the people I've met that have had this procedure none of them have told me about any of this stuff. I even know people who went to the same place as me. Did this procedure just not work for me or am I being a big baby? I guess I'm just to the point of wait and see. But for all the aggrivation I find myself just wishing that I was fighting with my contacts. At least then I could take them out when they bothered me. Hopefully I will get some more insight into all of these annoyances at my doctor visit.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Post-Op Chunky Eyeballs
Well today was the day of the lasik surgery. Just six hours ago I was majorly nearsighted and now I never have to wear glasses or contacts again. So many people asked me to let them know how it was because they really want to get it. Well I'm not the kinda girl to water things down so I'm gonna give it to you straight. Here we go.
Now you know I had the bad customer service experience with these people when I first went for my consultation. Since then I've talked to them on the phone three times and every time they have been pleasant and attentive. I called them when ever I had a question and they calmed my nerves. So that is a plus in their column. So today my boyfriend drove me there in his usual grumpy and uncaring manner. He wants me to tell him what to do at every turn because he doesnt' know how to be a caring and considerate boyfriend that is just there for me rather than the douchebag that only thinks of himself. But that is another story or another day...
So we get there and my Mom and Travis (my brother) are right behind us pulling in but seem to not see the huge building proclaiming itself as Selkin Eye Center and drive right past it. They also don't see me standing in the parking lot waving my hands like and idiot. So I have to chase them out to the road and get their attention so that my brother doesn't drive into the great mess that is Elam Ave again.
After all that stress, we go in and they have me fill out paperwork and escort me into the same room that I sat in for my consultation. I sat there for a very long time and then finally the girl that rushed me through before came in and asked me which form of Lasik I wanted. Apparently they offer two kinds plus something called PRK. PRK uses drops to desolve the flap of skin over the eye and Lasik is where they cut the flap. PRK takes four days of downtime and Lasik only takes a day. I choose the Lasik and then I get a choice of the basic package which is $699 per eye and the custom package which is $1699 per eye. Well my mom is paying of this so the lady goes and gets her. She talks my mom into the deluxe in like 32 seconds. The crazy thing is my Mom knows people that went to the same place they specifically told her that they will try and talk you into the more expensive package but you don't need it. But apparently what they didn't know was that my eyesight is so bad I need the deluxe version. They said that there is always a possibility of touch up needed after the procedure and with the basic package it is way more likely considering my prescription. A touch up with the basic package is $699 per eye again and with the deluxe is $150 per eye. Plus I get free visits to the office for a year so that can monitor my progress and check my vision frequently. Plus the chances of having halos and glare with nighttime driving is very low.
So once all that is out of the way they give me this blue surgical bonnet to put on and put me in a waiting room with other people wearing the same get up. There is a family of three people ahead of me, a guy and two women. The guy is about my age and pretty ghetto and the two women appear to be his mom and aunt. One of them was in having the surgery done and the other two were waiting. They told me that the one that was in there gets so freaked out about things she passes out. When she came out of the door she was like, "that was nothing", so it started to calm my fears. Also, they had given me the ok to take a Klonopin so I about 2 minutes way from being completely zoned out.
I had to get up to get checked out by the doctor before the surgery so they can get my prescription and all so I got called back to do that. When I get back the guy is coming out of surgery and the nurse is ordering him to sit down. Apparently mr. tough guy got dizzy during surgery and almost had a panic attack. Great. That's what I needed to see. So they call me into the room and I actually meet Dr. Selkin. He looks just like his pictures, which are everywhere. They lay me down on the reclining chair and talk to me in soothing voices. They tell me every step that they are doing and the first one is to put drops in my eyes that numb them. They burn like the dickens and I can't seem to open my eyes. I tell them this and they say "don't worry we will get them open"! And boy do they!
The nurse then taped one eye shut and pried open the other one with these torture device looking clamps which she then inserted into my eyesocket. That was uncomfortable. Then they tell me to stare at the green and red light directly above me. I'm freaking out at this point because I know they are about to cut me. The nurse has to hold open my eye in addition to the torture device and I hear the doctor say "suction" which send me into even farther panic mode because all I can think about is my eyeball being sucked out of it's socket. The nurse says, "you're gonna feel some pressure and everything will go black". She was right. It was very odd and extremely uncomfortable. I realized I wasn't breathing and tried to make myself take long, even breaths. All of the sudden the red and green light was present again and I the surgery begins. I can't really explain it but it was almost like someone was poking around inside a balloon. It feels like that looks. After all that poking, the Dr. does what can only be described at rubbing my eyeball with his finger. I really couldn't see but when I told him I majorly wanted to rub my eyes he said, "don't worry I'm doing it for you". Then they do the other eye and it actually hurts. It's a stinging feeling and the whole thing is majorly uncomfortable. I am clenched up and not breathing again. He tells me that most people frind the left eye to be more uncomfortable than the right. I am just wishing its over faster.
So when he is finally done, which is only about 3 minutes per eye but what seems like 20 minutes, they tell me sit up and put these goggle on me. I am wearing them now and I must say they aren't the most flattering thing in the world. I look like I should be playing raquetball player and they aren't the most comfortable thing in the world. I have to wear them for the rest of the day and all night. Then I have to sleep in them for the next week. This is to keep me from rubbing or scratching my eyes while they heal.
As soon as I got in the car on the drive home I couldn't keep my eyes open. The light was just too much. I kept them closed til I got home and in bed. I knew I was going to fall asleep so I had to put these thick drops in my eyes that they gave me to use before going to sleep. They stung too. I went to sleep for about 2 hours and woke up with the stickiest eyes ever! I wanted nothing more than to wipe them with a wet wash cloth but I can't take a shower or wet my eyes or face until tomorrow. I'm not allowed to wipe away any excess tears or goo. This sucks.
But the plus side to all this is I can see. Yes folks, it works. I couldn't imagine waking up and seeing. I still can't because my eyes were stuck together plus by wearing these goggles its like I have my glasses on. Things are still a bit hazy but I think that has something to do with the goggles being foggy. Things still aren't clear as a bell but hopefully tomorrow morning they will be. For all the aggrivations, I must say that the surgery is worth it. But don't let anyone tell you it was 'nothing' because it wasn't.
Now you know I had the bad customer service experience with these people when I first went for my consultation. Since then I've talked to them on the phone three times and every time they have been pleasant and attentive. I called them when ever I had a question and they calmed my nerves. So that is a plus in their column. So today my boyfriend drove me there in his usual grumpy and uncaring manner. He wants me to tell him what to do at every turn because he doesnt' know how to be a caring and considerate boyfriend that is just there for me rather than the douchebag that only thinks of himself. But that is another story or another day...
So we get there and my Mom and Travis (my brother) are right behind us pulling in but seem to not see the huge building proclaiming itself as Selkin Eye Center and drive right past it. They also don't see me standing in the parking lot waving my hands like and idiot. So I have to chase them out to the road and get their attention so that my brother doesn't drive into the great mess that is Elam Ave again.
After all that stress, we go in and they have me fill out paperwork and escort me into the same room that I sat in for my consultation. I sat there for a very long time and then finally the girl that rushed me through before came in and asked me which form of Lasik I wanted. Apparently they offer two kinds plus something called PRK. PRK uses drops to desolve the flap of skin over the eye and Lasik is where they cut the flap. PRK takes four days of downtime and Lasik only takes a day. I choose the Lasik and then I get a choice of the basic package which is $699 per eye and the custom package which is $1699 per eye. Well my mom is paying of this so the lady goes and gets her. She talks my mom into the deluxe in like 32 seconds. The crazy thing is my Mom knows people that went to the same place they specifically told her that they will try and talk you into the more expensive package but you don't need it. But apparently what they didn't know was that my eyesight is so bad I need the deluxe version. They said that there is always a possibility of touch up needed after the procedure and with the basic package it is way more likely considering my prescription. A touch up with the basic package is $699 per eye again and with the deluxe is $150 per eye. Plus I get free visits to the office for a year so that can monitor my progress and check my vision frequently. Plus the chances of having halos and glare with nighttime driving is very low.
So once all that is out of the way they give me this blue surgical bonnet to put on and put me in a waiting room with other people wearing the same get up. There is a family of three people ahead of me, a guy and two women. The guy is about my age and pretty ghetto and the two women appear to be his mom and aunt. One of them was in having the surgery done and the other two were waiting. They told me that the one that was in there gets so freaked out about things she passes out. When she came out of the door she was like, "that was nothing", so it started to calm my fears. Also, they had given me the ok to take a Klonopin so I about 2 minutes way from being completely zoned out.
I had to get up to get checked out by the doctor before the surgery so they can get my prescription and all so I got called back to do that. When I get back the guy is coming out of surgery and the nurse is ordering him to sit down. Apparently mr. tough guy got dizzy during surgery and almost had a panic attack. Great. That's what I needed to see. So they call me into the room and I actually meet Dr. Selkin. He looks just like his pictures, which are everywhere. They lay me down on the reclining chair and talk to me in soothing voices. They tell me every step that they are doing and the first one is to put drops in my eyes that numb them. They burn like the dickens and I can't seem to open my eyes. I tell them this and they say "don't worry we will get them open"! And boy do they!
The nurse then taped one eye shut and pried open the other one with these torture device looking clamps which she then inserted into my eyesocket. That was uncomfortable. Then they tell me to stare at the green and red light directly above me. I'm freaking out at this point because I know they are about to cut me. The nurse has to hold open my eye in addition to the torture device and I hear the doctor say "suction" which send me into even farther panic mode because all I can think about is my eyeball being sucked out of it's socket. The nurse says, "you're gonna feel some pressure and everything will go black". She was right. It was very odd and extremely uncomfortable. I realized I wasn't breathing and tried to make myself take long, even breaths. All of the sudden the red and green light was present again and I the surgery begins. I can't really explain it but it was almost like someone was poking around inside a balloon. It feels like that looks. After all that poking, the Dr. does what can only be described at rubbing my eyeball with his finger. I really couldn't see but when I told him I majorly wanted to rub my eyes he said, "don't worry I'm doing it for you". Then they do the other eye and it actually hurts. It's a stinging feeling and the whole thing is majorly uncomfortable. I am clenched up and not breathing again. He tells me that most people frind the left eye to be more uncomfortable than the right. I am just wishing its over faster.
So when he is finally done, which is only about 3 minutes per eye but what seems like 20 minutes, they tell me sit up and put these goggle on me. I am wearing them now and I must say they aren't the most flattering thing in the world. I look like I should be playing raquetball player and they aren't the most comfortable thing in the world. I have to wear them for the rest of the day and all night. Then I have to sleep in them for the next week. This is to keep me from rubbing or scratching my eyes while they heal.
As soon as I got in the car on the drive home I couldn't keep my eyes open. The light was just too much. I kept them closed til I got home and in bed. I knew I was going to fall asleep so I had to put these thick drops in my eyes that they gave me to use before going to sleep. They stung too. I went to sleep for about 2 hours and woke up with the stickiest eyes ever! I wanted nothing more than to wipe them with a wet wash cloth but I can't take a shower or wet my eyes or face until tomorrow. I'm not allowed to wipe away any excess tears or goo. This sucks.
But the plus side to all this is I can see. Yes folks, it works. I couldn't imagine waking up and seeing. I still can't because my eyes were stuck together plus by wearing these goggles its like I have my glasses on. Things are still a bit hazy but I think that has something to do with the goggles being foggy. Things still aren't clear as a bell but hopefully tomorrow morning they will be. For all the aggrivations, I must say that the surgery is worth it. But don't let anyone tell you it was 'nothing' because it wasn't.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I wanna make you up! (as sung to the tune of the Color Me Badd one hit)
As some of you know I *used* to do makeup for a living. I enjoyed making people feel good about themselves and helping them get out of their ridiculous eyeshadow addictions and horrible blush overdo's. I hated having to sell the makeup to them in that sleezy used car way though. That's why I loved wedding and prom makeovers because there was no pressure to make money. All I had to do was my art.
Well now I'm back to bartending and I miss making chicks feel good about themselves. And there is only so much I can do to myself considering I hate taking off makeup. I guess it's like cooking; I love to cook but I can't stand cleaning up after. Anyway, back to the subject at hand...
I just bought some new Bed Head pallettes and I sooooo want to try them out. So someone please call me so I can fix your face! Anybody?! I'll even do men, I was known for that at the snatcheral (my last place of employment).
Well now I'm back to bartending and I miss making chicks feel good about themselves. And there is only so much I can do to myself considering I hate taking off makeup. I guess it's like cooking; I love to cook but I can't stand cleaning up after. Anyway, back to the subject at hand...
I just bought some new Bed Head pallettes and I sooooo want to try them out. So someone please call me so I can fix your face! Anybody?! I'll even do men, I was known for that at the snatcheral (my last place of employment).
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The Tillers.
Well Matilda has certainly grown up! She is now about 55lbs of pure muscle! And wide slap open!
She has eaten the couch I've had since I got my first apartment. It is now a wooden frame with cushions and sheets covering it. She has also eaten 3 remote controls and 2 pairs of glasses. Luckily I'm getting Lasic soon so she won't have anymore of those to chew on!
She also ate a feather bed we had in her crate. Here is the explosion of feathers that incurred!
Matilda has developed an intense love for the water hose and won't let any of us touch it. That hose is now her favorite toy, especially when a sprinker is hooked to the end of it! I bought her a slip n slide too but she ate it. Here are some pictures and I'll see if I can get some video up of her water fun!
Lasic Surgery is actual surgery right?
I went to my consultation for Lasic Surgery today. I felt like I got herded through and rushed out the door. They didn't tell me anything but the date to show up and don't wear makeup! Are you kidding me? I'm not buying a sweater, I'm having a life changing operation! I know that they are used to this crap because its common place to them. But I've not been through and I don't know anything about it. I need hand holding and reassuring. They say they hold your hand through the experience in the brochure. They didn't so much as glance in my direction much less hold my hand.
I called the 1-800 number they gave me and complained. Yes, I'm that girl. They called me back within a few minutes and told me 100 times more than what they told me in the office. Literally I was there 15 minutes and half of that was in the waiting room! They told me I would have to wear goggles to sleep in for 10 nights and that I would most likely want to go to sleep after the procedure. It would have been nice to know that in my consultation. She also told me that my vision was correctable to 20/20. Something else that would have been nice to know.
I always rant and rave about poor customer service in the american public and this was it at its finest. It felt like I was having a script read to me, not a nurse explaining a surgery. I just think they need to realize that some people need more than a standard pitch. I'm gonna do the surgery, I just wish they were slightly more caring.
I called the 1-800 number they gave me and complained. Yes, I'm that girl. They called me back within a few minutes and told me 100 times more than what they told me in the office. Literally I was there 15 minutes and half of that was in the waiting room! They told me I would have to wear goggles to sleep in for 10 nights and that I would most likely want to go to sleep after the procedure. It would have been nice to know that in my consultation. She also told me that my vision was correctable to 20/20. Something else that would have been nice to know.
I always rant and rave about poor customer service in the american public and this was it at its finest. It felt like I was having a script read to me, not a nurse explaining a surgery. I just think they need to realize that some people need more than a standard pitch. I'm gonna do the surgery, I just wish they were slightly more caring.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Get out of my head and into my pocket...
The bottomless pit of the service industry.
Category: Food and Restaurants
I tend to have a rather low opinion of myself. I don't know if that has something to do with things that happened in my childhood or things that have continually happened throughout my life. But I can say with absolute certainty that the one thing in my life that I am good at is the service industry. Put me in any restaurant anywhere in the US and I can do it with little to no training.
It's almost automatic. I revert to my restaurant skills even at home or when I'm out to dinner. I'm constantly scanning the place for things being done wrong or things that should be attended to. Why? Why do I care if the slackers at Ruby Tuesday aren't paying attention to the guy across the aisle from me who has been out of tea for at least 15 minutes? Why do I care that there are 8 dirty tables and 12 servers standing up at the host stand goofing off?
I shouldn't care, it isn't affecting my tip or my restaurants reputation. But something has gotten inside of me and made me uncomfortable to be around mediocrity in the restaurant business. Frankly I'm sick of it. I just want to get out of this industry all together and have a normal job. A job where I get lunch breaks and health insurance. A job where I don't make $2.43 and hour and have to depend on tightwads to figure up how many of their pennies they are going to part with at the end of their meal. I want a job where I can take days off because I have a fever and still get paid for it. I want normal hours where I can actually be home when my boyfriend goes to bed and get up in the morning and make breakfast. I want a normal life.
And as a side note for those of you who aren't in the know...
Minimum wage for tipped employees was $2.13 and hour for as long as I can remember. Then, as luck would have a little less than a year ago the mimimum wage went up to $3.10 an hour. Oh what a glorius few months of paychecks that are almost large enough for a tank of gas. However, last week minimum wage for tipped employees went down again to $2.43. So all of you waitstaff and bartenders that got used to an actual paycheck, get ready for it to be cut again. Sorry guys, I guess tipped employees are again, two thirds of a person.
Category: Food and Restaurants
I tend to have a rather low opinion of myself. I don't know if that has something to do with things that happened in my childhood or things that have continually happened throughout my life. But I can say with absolute certainty that the one thing in my life that I am good at is the service industry. Put me in any restaurant anywhere in the US and I can do it with little to no training.
It's almost automatic. I revert to my restaurant skills even at home or when I'm out to dinner. I'm constantly scanning the place for things being done wrong or things that should be attended to. Why? Why do I care if the slackers at Ruby Tuesday aren't paying attention to the guy across the aisle from me who has been out of tea for at least 15 minutes? Why do I care that there are 8 dirty tables and 12 servers standing up at the host stand goofing off?
I shouldn't care, it isn't affecting my tip or my restaurants reputation. But something has gotten inside of me and made me uncomfortable to be around mediocrity in the restaurant business. Frankly I'm sick of it. I just want to get out of this industry all together and have a normal job. A job where I get lunch breaks and health insurance. A job where I don't make $2.43 and hour and have to depend on tightwads to figure up how many of their pennies they are going to part with at the end of their meal. I want a job where I can take days off because I have a fever and still get paid for it. I want normal hours where I can actually be home when my boyfriend goes to bed and get up in the morning and make breakfast. I want a normal life.
And as a side note for those of you who aren't in the know...
Minimum wage for tipped employees was $2.13 and hour for as long as I can remember. Then, as luck would have a little less than a year ago the mimimum wage went up to $3.10 an hour. Oh what a glorius few months of paychecks that are almost large enough for a tank of gas. However, last week minimum wage for tipped employees went down again to $2.43. So all of you waitstaff and bartenders that got used to an actual paycheck, get ready for it to be cut again. Sorry guys, I guess tipped employees are again, two thirds of a person.
The do's and don'ts of patronizing your local bar.
Although I didn't write this originally, I've been meaning to to write some more about this very subject. Please read it and learn, you non-restaurant people. We are giving you the keys to the kingdom here! ~Jade
Someone once pointed out to me the fact that there seems to be a micro-economy in the service industry. Restaurant workers take their tip money out to bars and clubs at night and give it to the bartenders, who promptly return it to the waiters and waitresses the next day at lunch. The cycle is almost self-sufficient and is mutually beneficial. Knowing the pain of waiting on customers, each group tips the other well and never raises a fuss. These people do not need to be educated. The rest of you do.
Many of us have stood in a noisy, crowded bar and asked, "What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?" Well, you're about to find out. Here are some Do's and Don'ts that will keep the relationship between the bartender and bar patron running smoothly.
DON'T...
1.Fail to have your money ready
We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you. Rule 1: Have your shit together. Not only will following Rule 1 get you served quicker in a bar, it's a good general rule to adopt in life and is especially helpful in Central American border crossing scenarios.
2.Whistle
This is an absolute No-No. You whistle at dogs, not people.
3.Wave money
Oh, you've got a dollar!! I'll be right over!! Hopefully I won't break an ankle in my fevered rush to get you your "curz lite." Well, at least you're not breaking the next rule.
4.Yell out the bartender's first name
There's something deeply psychologically disturbing about hearing your name called out, turning around and seeing a complete stranger. That's one of the reasons strippers use stage names. Bartender's do too. Mine is MANTHUNDER.
5.Say "make it strong!" or "put a lot of liquor in it"
Oh, you're one of the rare drinkers that like their drink strong! When you say this, you're assuming I make weak drinks (which is insulting) and you're assuming that I'll stiffen this one up for my new best buddy, you. This is the best way to get a weak drink.
6.Give the ever-expanding drink order
You want a Bud. I go get it. I come back and now you want a Margarita. Okay, no prob. I come back, and (oh yeah!) now you want a shot of Tequila, too. You really could have told us this all at once. See Rule 1.
7.Pull the redirect (or the bait 'n' switch)
Usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentlemen passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that, okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just cost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.
8.Try the confused, lost look
This is usually accompanied by the question "What kind of beer y'all got?" while looking at all the beers we have. You did know you were in a bar, right? You didn't just appear here, did you? Refer to Rule 1.
9.Order High Maintenance shooters
Example: "Lemme get an Alabama Slammer, a Red Snapper, two Kamikazes, a Buttery Nipple and a Lemon Drop." Usually followed by a small tip. People, these shooters are fine by themselves, but there are multiple steps involved with each one. Translation: Time Sink. You may get them this time, but you'll probably be waited on last the next time we see your face. Here's a clue as to whether or not you're high maintenance; if two bartenders are working and they see you, and they flip a coin and the loser comes over to take your order, pretty good chance you're high maintenance.
10.Assume we know you're in the band
We know, we know, you're gonna be really famous, but you're not there yet, tiger. Tell us you're in the band and which band you're in. By the way, if you are in a band and get free/reduced drink prices, feel free to tip, as most bartenders are also in bands! It's not like we don't know how it is. Oh, and our bands will smoke your band.
11.Assume we know you period
Unless you've followed the first "Do" rule below, we don't remember you. You are one of a thousand faces for us, and when you point at an empty glass or a beer bottle that's invariably facing away from us, your attempt at a shortcut backfires. Tell us what you want.
12.Apologize for sucking
Don't apologize for not tipping. Acknowledging that you suck is not the same as not sucking. Oh, and don't say "I'll get ya next time." We know all about you.
13.Assume soft drinks are free
Are they free at McDonald's? Are they free at Wal-Mart? Are they free anywhere? I blame M.A.D.D. for this myth.
14.Put pennies and nickels in the tip jar
We don't want that crap in our pockets any more than you do. We don't have anything smaller than quarters. Have you ever ordered a drink that cost $3.17?
15.Be "The Microbrew Aficionado"
Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "schwag," and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about at Burning Man. "Do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome-Fest?" "Does Anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go.
16.Be "The Daddy Warbucks"
Dressed in classic day-trader wear, this loud, boisterous guy smokes cigars and orders Martinis and generally exudes an air of money. Until the tip. We hate you.
17.Be a "Whiney Baby"
Under no circumstances should you ever whine to a bartender when asked to see your ID. Our jobs depend on them, and when we spot a fake/expired ID, don't argue; we've seen and heard it all a million times before, and it will get you absolutely nowhere. If you "don't have one" or "forgot it," forget it; you don't belong out on the town in the first place. That's the law, plain and simple. If we don't have the law, the terrorists win. You don't want the terrorists to win, do you? Bring your ID. Remember Rule 1, from a minute ago?
18.Don't tell me the bartender at the front bar hooks it up cheaper bullshit because if he did you wouldn't be at my bar gettin it from me! if you can't afford the drinks you are ordering then don't drink!
DO
1.Tip
Tip heavy right off the bat, and you're the first person we aim for every time you come up to the bar. Did you get that? Go back and read it again. The word will spread to the other bartenders and you'll be treated like a prince. It will pay off in better drinks and the occasional free one.
2.Be patient
All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact. We see you, and we'll get to you before the guy right next to you waving money and whistling. Remember, this isn't insulin we're passing out here. If you really need the drink that bad, you've got a problem to address, Jack. The meek shall inherit the bar.
3.Understand
we are human not machines we know you're there however you are not the only or most important one in the bar...
Someone once pointed out to me the fact that there seems to be a micro-economy in the service industry. Restaurant workers take their tip money out to bars and clubs at night and give it to the bartenders, who promptly return it to the waiters and waitresses the next day at lunch. The cycle is almost self-sufficient and is mutually beneficial. Knowing the pain of waiting on customers, each group tips the other well and never raises a fuss. These people do not need to be educated. The rest of you do.
Many of us have stood in a noisy, crowded bar and asked, "What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?" Well, you're about to find out. Here are some Do's and Don'ts that will keep the relationship between the bartender and bar patron running smoothly.
DON'T...
1.Fail to have your money ready
We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you. Rule 1: Have your shit together. Not only will following Rule 1 get you served quicker in a bar, it's a good general rule to adopt in life and is especially helpful in Central American border crossing scenarios.
2.Whistle
This is an absolute No-No. You whistle at dogs, not people.
3.Wave money
Oh, you've got a dollar!! I'll be right over!! Hopefully I won't break an ankle in my fevered rush to get you your "curz lite." Well, at least you're not breaking the next rule.
4.Yell out the bartender's first name
There's something deeply psychologically disturbing about hearing your name called out, turning around and seeing a complete stranger. That's one of the reasons strippers use stage names. Bartender's do too. Mine is MANTHUNDER.
5.Say "make it strong!" or "put a lot of liquor in it"
Oh, you're one of the rare drinkers that like their drink strong! When you say this, you're assuming I make weak drinks (which is insulting) and you're assuming that I'll stiffen this one up for my new best buddy, you. This is the best way to get a weak drink.
6.Give the ever-expanding drink order
You want a Bud. I go get it. I come back and now you want a Margarita. Okay, no prob. I come back, and (oh yeah!) now you want a shot of Tequila, too. You really could have told us this all at once. See Rule 1.
7.Pull the redirect (or the bait 'n' switch)
Usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentlemen passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that, okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just cost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.
8.Try the confused, lost look
This is usually accompanied by the question "What kind of beer y'all got?" while looking at all the beers we have. You did know you were in a bar, right? You didn't just appear here, did you? Refer to Rule 1.
9.Order High Maintenance shooters
Example: "Lemme get an Alabama Slammer, a Red Snapper, two Kamikazes, a Buttery Nipple and a Lemon Drop." Usually followed by a small tip. People, these shooters are fine by themselves, but there are multiple steps involved with each one. Translation: Time Sink. You may get them this time, but you'll probably be waited on last the next time we see your face. Here's a clue as to whether or not you're high maintenance; if two bartenders are working and they see you, and they flip a coin and the loser comes over to take your order, pretty good chance you're high maintenance.
10.Assume we know you're in the band
We know, we know, you're gonna be really famous, but you're not there yet, tiger. Tell us you're in the band and which band you're in. By the way, if you are in a band and get free/reduced drink prices, feel free to tip, as most bartenders are also in bands! It's not like we don't know how it is. Oh, and our bands will smoke your band.
11.Assume we know you period
Unless you've followed the first "Do" rule below, we don't remember you. You are one of a thousand faces for us, and when you point at an empty glass or a beer bottle that's invariably facing away from us, your attempt at a shortcut backfires. Tell us what you want.
12.Apologize for sucking
Don't apologize for not tipping. Acknowledging that you suck is not the same as not sucking. Oh, and don't say "I'll get ya next time." We know all about you.
13.Assume soft drinks are free
Are they free at McDonald's? Are they free at Wal-Mart? Are they free anywhere? I blame M.A.D.D. for this myth.
14.Put pennies and nickels in the tip jar
We don't want that crap in our pockets any more than you do. We don't have anything smaller than quarters. Have you ever ordered a drink that cost $3.17?
15.Be "The Microbrew Aficionado"
Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "schwag," and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about at Burning Man. "Do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome-Fest?" "Does Anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go.
16.Be "The Daddy Warbucks"
Dressed in classic day-trader wear, this loud, boisterous guy smokes cigars and orders Martinis and generally exudes an air of money. Until the tip. We hate you.
17.Be a "Whiney Baby"
Under no circumstances should you ever whine to a bartender when asked to see your ID. Our jobs depend on them, and when we spot a fake/expired ID, don't argue; we've seen and heard it all a million times before, and it will get you absolutely nowhere. If you "don't have one" or "forgot it," forget it; you don't belong out on the town in the first place. That's the law, plain and simple. If we don't have the law, the terrorists win. You don't want the terrorists to win, do you? Bring your ID. Remember Rule 1, from a minute ago?
18.Don't tell me the bartender at the front bar hooks it up cheaper bullshit because if he did you wouldn't be at my bar gettin it from me! if you can't afford the drinks you are ordering then don't drink!
DO
1.Tip
Tip heavy right off the bat, and you're the first person we aim for every time you come up to the bar. Did you get that? Go back and read it again. The word will spread to the other bartenders and you'll be treated like a prince. It will pay off in better drinks and the occasional free one.
2.Be patient
All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact. We see you, and we'll get to you before the guy right next to you waving money and whistling. Remember, this isn't insulin we're passing out here. If you really need the drink that bad, you've got a problem to address, Jack. The meek shall inherit the bar.
3.Understand
we are human not machines we know you're there however you are not the only or most important one in the bar...
Things that suck and other aggrivates
~ I'm really sick of seeing people who post pictures of their new tattoo's only to have them suck. If you know you didn't get quality work done or your tattoo looks like a blurry butterfly when it's supposed to be a bird, don't post it. We don't want to see your stupid mistake that will fade in about 3 months and you will spend the rest of your life telling people, "yea, man..I'm getting that covered up soon".
~ I also am sick of people that correct my grammar, spelling or whatever else they feel the need to correct. You aren't my mom and you aren't grading my papers so get the heck out of grill.
~ I'm also sick of religious freaks justifying their religious freakyness by quote bible scriptures. Look people, I grew up in the holiest of the holy and know your game. You can't justify what you are doing by spouting rules from a book that not everyone lives by. That's like justifying stealing by saying your imaginary friend told you to take it. I'm not knocking religion by any means. I'm just saying, your way isn't the only way so don't shove it my face. I refuse to believe that there is an entire country (India) of people going to Hell because they never accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal savior. God is different things to different people and whatever helps them find peace is fine with me. I should be fine to you too.
~ I'm sick of people telling my mom the goings on in my life because they happen to be a MySpace friend. Listen genius, if I wanted my mom to know what was happening in my life I would just tell her. I certainly wouldn't be looking for other outlets to spout my indescretions and revelations, now would I?
~ I am tired of being told to wake up earlier and go to bed sooner. What am I, 8? If I needed someone to control my sleep patterns I'd sign up for one of the studies at Bowman Gray. Back out of my bedroom.
~ Why must we have small talk? If I have nothing to say to you, I won't talk to you. I'm going to ask you how you've been and I'm not going to ask you what's going on new in your life. I don't care. And why do you care about me? Meaningful conversations are highly under rated and should be attepted more often.
~Timing sucks. I hate having to be somewhere at a certain time. I hate not being able to be somewhere when I want to. I hate that I can't immediately have what I want when I want it. I hate that I spent my life looking for something that right in front of me all along. I hate that you have been out of my life for longer than you have been in it. I hate that I can't run away with you.
~Being out of the loops just blows. Don't you hate it when you read someones blog and you have no idea what they are talking about but you hope upon hope it's about you? Yea, me too.
~ I also am sick of people that correct my grammar, spelling or whatever else they feel the need to correct. You aren't my mom and you aren't grading my papers so get the heck out of grill.
~ I'm also sick of religious freaks justifying their religious freakyness by quote bible scriptures. Look people, I grew up in the holiest of the holy and know your game. You can't justify what you are doing by spouting rules from a book that not everyone lives by. That's like justifying stealing by saying your imaginary friend told you to take it. I'm not knocking religion by any means. I'm just saying, your way isn't the only way so don't shove it my face. I refuse to believe that there is an entire country (India) of people going to Hell because they never accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal savior. God is different things to different people and whatever helps them find peace is fine with me. I should be fine to you too.
~ I'm sick of people telling my mom the goings on in my life because they happen to be a MySpace friend. Listen genius, if I wanted my mom to know what was happening in my life I would just tell her. I certainly wouldn't be looking for other outlets to spout my indescretions and revelations, now would I?
~ I am tired of being told to wake up earlier and go to bed sooner. What am I, 8? If I needed someone to control my sleep patterns I'd sign up for one of the studies at Bowman Gray. Back out of my bedroom.
~ Why must we have small talk? If I have nothing to say to you, I won't talk to you. I'm going to ask you how you've been and I'm not going to ask you what's going on new in your life. I don't care. And why do you care about me? Meaningful conversations are highly under rated and should be attepted more often.
~Timing sucks. I hate having to be somewhere at a certain time. I hate not being able to be somewhere when I want to. I hate that I can't immediately have what I want when I want it. I hate that I spent my life looking for something that right in front of me all along. I hate that you have been out of my life for longer than you have been in it. I hate that I can't run away with you.
~Being out of the loops just blows. Don't you hate it when you read someones blog and you have no idea what they are talking about but you hope upon hope it's about you? Yea, me too.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
I'm getting to old for this...
So I've come to the conclusion that Eric may actually be right about something. As much as it pains me to say it, I think he has the right idea about friendships and people in general. You see Eric has no close friends. It isn't really due to lack of people asking him to do things or whatnot. I used to think it was because he is a douche and no one wants him around. But having been with him two years now, I've noticed that guys at work are constantly trying to get him to do things with them. They ask him to play golf, go to races, all kinds of stuff. But he just blows them off. I realize why now.
You can't count on anyone. Ever. All you have in this life is yourself and if you put yourself out there then you will get hurt. It is a fact. When you make every effort to invite people into your world all you get in return is $250 worth of food and liquor that will never get eaten or drank, you learn to just let people go. When you spend hours thinking of clever things to name drinks for your so called 'friends' and they don't have the decency to call you and let you know they can't make it...you learn to dismiss them.
I have recently discovered that there are only a few 'true' people in this world. Only a very slight group that will do what they say and say what they mean. Those people are the people you want in your life. It is also important to note that those people happen to also be my age or close to it.
You see, I've been living my life like I'm still a kid. I've been trying to compete with the 20 year olds and trying to befriend them. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have more in common with their parents then them. Although I'm still in college, I need to realize that I'm not a kid. I'm an adult in a childs world and need to act accordingly. I keep trying to recreate the 'good old days' and well, they were just that, the old days.
I never thought that turning 30 would catapult me into some sort of life changing mindset. But now I know, I'm an adult and should surround myself with like minded people. My goals no longer consist of where I'm going out this weekend or how am I getting home after. They are much deeper and much more grounded in reality. You come to discover that it's not who can drink the most or who can be the loudest drunk, but who will be there when the dust settles that matters.
I'm grateful to have the few true friends that I've got. To the rest of you, I hope one day you find your peace and grow up.
You can't count on anyone. Ever. All you have in this life is yourself and if you put yourself out there then you will get hurt. It is a fact. When you make every effort to invite people into your world all you get in return is $250 worth of food and liquor that will never get eaten or drank, you learn to just let people go. When you spend hours thinking of clever things to name drinks for your so called 'friends' and they don't have the decency to call you and let you know they can't make it...you learn to dismiss them.
I have recently discovered that there are only a few 'true' people in this world. Only a very slight group that will do what they say and say what they mean. Those people are the people you want in your life. It is also important to note that those people happen to also be my age or close to it.
You see, I've been living my life like I'm still a kid. I've been trying to compete with the 20 year olds and trying to befriend them. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have more in common with their parents then them. Although I'm still in college, I need to realize that I'm not a kid. I'm an adult in a childs world and need to act accordingly. I keep trying to recreate the 'good old days' and well, they were just that, the old days.
I never thought that turning 30 would catapult me into some sort of life changing mindset. But now I know, I'm an adult and should surround myself with like minded people. My goals no longer consist of where I'm going out this weekend or how am I getting home after. They are much deeper and much more grounded in reality. You come to discover that it's not who can drink the most or who can be the loudest drunk, but who will be there when the dust settles that matters.
I'm grateful to have the few true friends that I've got. To the rest of you, I hope one day you find your peace and grow up.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
GOOD LORD!
I haven't been here in awhile and it apparently shows! I just tried to log in and was all but accosted by my screen! Apparently I hadn't registered my google account but thought that I had or that I just would automatically be able to get in because I have a google account and it had it saved. WRONG! I liked this site because it was easy and all of the sudden it's turned into hoop jumping! What the?
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