So it's 2:49am and by all accounts I should be slap knocked out but I'm not. Most of you know by now that I've been sick. I don't have insurance so I have to self medicate or fork over lots of money to have someone tell me to drink plenty of fluids and get some rest.
When you get sick everyone seems to know what to tell you what to do. I've heard all kindsa remedies but this one by far was the weirdest. I have a couple regulars at the bar that happen to be best friends with the owner of my restaurant. Apparently they learned this one from her. Some of you may have heard of this, some of you are going to think I'm nuts. Some of you already think I'm nuts so anything I say past this will just be whipped cream on the nutty sundae.
Apparently there is a miracle cure found at the liquor store. It's called Rock and Rye. This is the grossest thing I think I've ever put in my body. It's a reddish brown liquid with sliced oranges and cherries floating in it. The liqueur gets it name from Rock Candy that is placed in Rye Whiskey while distilling and packed with candied oranges to give it a 'distinct' flavor. If you drink this 80 proof wonder drug, it is rumored to clear up your congestion and knock out your cold...as well as the rest of you.
I was told by the lovely ladies to heat it up and mix some honey in it and sip it like hot tea. I tried this method and abruptly turned off by the distinct smell of old alcohol. The only way I can describe it is the smell coming out of someone's pores after a 2 or 3 day drinking binge. It was disgusting! I only managed to get down about 4 sips before I gave up. I will say that I started to feel a little better but nothing spectacular.
So tonight I decided to go with a different method recommended by a younger, hipper regular. She told me to just shoot the stuff. Take about two shots and go to bed. Well I tried that too. It was waaaaay better and easier to take and within about 3 minutes It felt like my nostrils were opening up and my sinuses were parting like the red sea! The top of my head started to clear and my ears felt like they were finally free to hear again. However, no sleepytime. So I thought I would take a couple more shots to knock me out. I figured what the hey! Everyone claims that I will sleep better than I ever have if I take this stuff so I want that elusive sleep, dang it!
So here it is 3 am and my Rock and Rye sleep is a Rockin' flop. I feel tired but not sleepy. But will say that my cold is almost completely gone and I definitely no longer have a sore throat or a head ache. So overall I give this method a 7. It cured what ailed me but it did nothing for my insomnia. Just goes to show ya, you can't drink all your troubles away...
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