"Come on Home Girl" he said with a smile...

If you've never experienced this, you haven't lived. Everytime I watch this scene I get a flutter in the pit of my stomach and my knees go weak. That feeling of standing there, right frickin' there when the drums start....the bass line drops...and he the lights come up.... wow. Then having your 'musician' give you sly little looks off the side of the stage....priceless. Absolutely priceless.




I'm sure it doesn't compare to the rush of actually being out there. I'm sure it's all pretty lame to an actual musician, but to the little country girl from Gibsonville, it's the world.




By musician, I don't mean the guys that sit around and play guitar with their buddies when they are drunk. I mean the 'working' musicians. The guy on the stage. The guy that flirts with the song he wrote years ago for some other girl. The guy that undressed you with his eyes while banging out his heart and soul on the keyboard. The guy that is pouring is every breath into making you feel his passion. The guy that knows what it feels like to be "Almost Famous".




Of course, I saw Almost Famous way after I had made my rounds with the band dudes. I'm pretty sure I was done with them by this time as well. But this scene, totally reminded me of the life. Of the rush. Of the passion. Of the intensity. Of the mistaken lust for love.




All women are attracted to musicians, but not all women can pull the musicians. It takes a certain kind of girl to get their attention. To really get their attention. They can tell the groupies from the 'band aids' so to speak. They know when she is really there for the music, at least in the beginning.




It's the passion. We are attracted to passion and the swagger. Guys on stage have this unmistakable confidence that just makes them hot even if they are 5'4" and four sheets to the wind. It's an insane thing that comes over us when we hear him sing our favorite song or watch him work the room. You know, you simply know that he has to have something or know something that no one else does. You must make him yours.




Then, you do. And you spend the rest of your relationship worried that any and every other girl in the room from now on wants your man the way you did. And you correct. And there will always be some girl that is prettier, sluttier, funnier, smarter, and cooler than you gunning for him. She will pull every trick in the book and she will succeed....just like you did.




And it's not his fault. He is simply living his dream. He is simply riding the waves. He likes you just fine. There is nothing wrong with you, but he lives in a world where relationships and monogamy don't seem to mix. Where sobriety is a myth and your every wish can be granted at the snap of a finger or ink on a rider. He is the rock star; you will always come in second place. Always.




You can try and Yoko the situation. You can try and tame him. You can try and keep him at bay. But eventually, you will be mother rather than a lover to him and he will resent you with every word out of your mouth.




And so it ends.




And you find yourself at another show, with another wink from another drummer or lead singer...and you fall one more time.




Eventually, we grow up. Eventually we figure out that we can't be the one. We will never be the one. And there was always some other girl that broke his heart and made them want to be free.




So you stop going to shows. You stop working in bars. You stop dressing in leather and spandex. You meet a respectable man with a 'grown up' job and you settle into a normal life. Then something happens to remind you of the good ol' days. Something unmistakeable. Maybe its a song. Maybe its a movie. Maybe its an actual musician. But something reminds you of that feeling and you lose your frickin' mind all over again....

"It's all happening..."